Suramya Pokharel - December 15, 2023
Everyone is in fear. Every animal that traversed the earth to every bird that soared the skies. Every king that ruled the hills of heaven to every beggar that begged in the streets of hell. Everyone. Some fear power, some the loss of it. Some fear life and some its termination. Some fear the beasts on the street outside and some the snakes that dwell inside. Some fear people and some their actions. Some fear gain, some loss, some victory and some defeat. Everyone fears something.
Know something interesting though? Fears are never absolute. Yours certainly are not. Conquer some old fears and new will latch on, like a bunch of parasites hungry for your blood. So, what do you fear? Your boss? Teacher? Parent? Losing someone or something? That email that states homework is due tomorrow? That one person that gets your heart racing when he/she enters the room? That hell hole you live in? Your friends? Someone doing something better than you? Future? Walking down a quiet street all alone in the middle of the night? Stupid imaginations? Monsters of the world? The monster inside of you? Speaking your mind? Looking like a fool? Something entirely different? Doesn’t matter! They will change. Not scared of losing anyone? Wait till you have kids. Not scared of walking down that dark, shady alley? Wait till a bunch of guys surround you and wait till you see the weapons in their hands.
Let me ask you a better question now. How much do your fears own you? Don’t lie. You know it, you know it very well. There is this little voice inside that tells you everything. That little voice, it knows things. It knows who you are and what you are. It has seen you naked and it has seen you with all those layers of masks you put on. LISTEN TO IT. It will tell you how big of a coward you actually are. Just how much your decisions are affected by fear. You can go round the world telling people why you took this decision instead of that, and try rationalizing it as best as you can and have fools take your side and believe you. But you know the truth. You know it, because that voice told you. It told you the minute your decision was skewed by your fear. But you chose to run from it, to ignore it. Run from it all you want, hide all you want but eventually reality will bite. You can’t hide yourself from yourself and expect to never be found out.
Stories are never written about cowards. Statues are never built with a cowardly face. History has never granted cowards with glory and future will never lay itself down on a coward’s feet. Not he who runs away from the battlefield when the first sword is swung, is sang about in ballads of time. Songs are sung about those who stand; who stand still amongst wailing of the hurt and roars of those who hurt. He is a warrior; a fighter. No one cares to notice how those hands holding that heavy sword are trembling with fear. What is noticed by allies and foes alike, is the might shown by the warrior as he battles the world outside and battles himself inside. The might of his character. Anyone who stands, is respected. This is not to say surrender is always a cowardly act. At times it can be the most courageous thing to do; to give up, retain any strength you have left, gather more and attack. A useful tactic in the hands of brave but a lowly escape in the hands of cowards. Be it in victory or defeat, its always the brave who’s celebrated. Brave enemies are respected, talked about and admired. How many shrines of warriors are constructed by their enemies? And how many of those are considered brave? The answer- ALL OF THEM.
The mass follows the brave. Cowards follow the brave and sneer at their bravery from behind. They laugh at their courage, revel on their losses and ultimately envy their positioning. Cowards consider it brave act to laugh at someone’s efforts. They consider it courageous to make fun of others’ fears, others’ insecurities, others’ conditions, other’s injury. Cowards consider it intelligent to sugarcoat words and soften things up. Cowards avoid conflicts, fights, arguments when needed and consider it a show of their morality; a show of their virtue. You will often hear a coward make fun of a courageous behind his back. When face to face though, he will lack the very requirement to do so — bravery. His tone of voice will change, eyes will grow distant, his words will retain no strength. Deep inside cowards look at the brave and admire their character, something they wholly lack, but they’ll be too reluctant to admit it, even to themselves, because they lack the very requirement to do so — bravery.
A brave man? He will tell you things. He will tell you what you are running from. He will tell you the hard truth. He’ll not come to you, sugarcoating words. Instead, you’ll find him rude, hard and blunt. He’ll seek fights with you, he’ll argue and confront you when needed. You’ll hate him for it. You’ll avoid him. But you’ll respect him all the same. It takes a brave man to look at a brave man’s eyes and admit the truth. But look at you, you can’t even admit truths to yourself.
When nights are dark, times tough, winds strong and thunders loud, it’s the brave men who’ll be sought. No one wants a coward son, a coward lover, a coward father, a coward boss or a coward friend. You don’t want cowardly doctors to take your father to the operation theatre. You don’t want cowardly policemen to show up when your house was robbed. You don’t want a cowardly girlfriend to drag you down each time you shoot for the top. You don’t want a cowardly boyfriend to walk you home in a quiet, moonless night.
Cowards lack dominion over themselves. When faced with hard times, in times when emotions are high, when mind is crowded by darkness, its the cowards that surrender themselves to the circumstance. At best, this means inaction. At worst, crimes. Rapists are cowards who lack control over their lust. Robbers are cowards who lack control over their desire for wealth or desire for maybe a better circumstance. A society built on accommodating cowards, is a society doomed to fail. Hence why, bravery is such a sought after trait in humans. The issue is, bravery is a trait that’s learnt. No one can come up to you and impart in you, his bravery. At times though, someone may come up and show you the way. Someone who sees through your well-crafted lies and bluntly tells you the truth. Someone who tells you exactly what you need to hear, not what you want to hear. Listen to him, hold him close. And what’s better? BE HIM. Let this essay be that person for you and may you be that person for someone else.
Only he, who fears nothing is free. But can you really differentiate someone who does have fears but doesn’t let it affect his course of action, from someone who has no fears at all? Be brave, thus fearless, and then the realm is yours. The clouds will write your names and thunders will sing your freedom. Each morning you make a choice; courage or cowardice? Make the braver choice.